The End
by JaredsGirl23
Summary: Bella and Jacob never talked after Edward left, Bella never talked to anyone but was suicide really the awnser?
1. Chapter 1

**AN I don't own Twilight, New Moon or Eclipse and I never will ( ; I know it's short but its only the first chapter. Trust me the rest of the chapters will be much longer. I will be leaving for a roadtrip tomorow morning and wont be back for about three days but once I get back I will continue if you like it. Please review!**

"That's it Bella. I can't take this! I need you out of this house. You can't keep letting that stupid _cullen _ruin your life. Just get over him or I'm sorry but you're going to have to leave!" Oh no. He said his last name. Breathe Bella, breathe. How could Charlie be that heartless? Five months wasn't that long. Not if you just lost the love of your life. No, that didn't do him justice. The love of your _eternity_. Dammitt Bella, stop thinking about him.

I don't know how much time passed before I heard the door slamed. Charlie left, I think he said something about fishing. I looked around the room, trying to clear my head when something caught my eye. _Charlies gun._ He said either get over it or get out and I was going to get out. It would do him some good. I knew my deprission was making him depressed. And I know I can't go on much longer. So it's decided. Suicide. Who ever thought that me, Isabella Swan, would be the one to let her life get so out of hand that suicide was the only awnser. It's not like he would ever come back. But where to do it?

Maybe the place that screwed my life up. The medow. Our medow. No, don't think like that. No matter what happend, being with Edward was the best time of my life. Dammitt, I grabed my sides and gasped for breath. Breath, breath. Okay, the medow it was. My favourite place is where I'll end my pain. I'd write a note to Charlie. Charlie, maybe it will be better this way. And I'll leave right after.

I ran up to my room and grabbed a paper, pen and my keys.

Charlie, I'm sorry. I had to do it. I love you, Renee too. Please forgive me. Never forget, it was never your fault. Never anyones fault, never forget I love you. Bella.

It was final. I grabbed Charlies gun and got into my car. Now to get to the medow.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

**AN **Sadly, I don't own Twilight or its sequals but I do own this plot.  
Sorry it took a while but I couldn't think of anything to write until tonight, but then it just poured out of me. I hope there isn't any grammer or spelling mistakes but I use WordPad and not Word, so no spellcheck. Anyways, thanks for the reviews and keep reviewing. Thanks ).

Here I was. The medow. _Our _medow. Gun in my hand. Was I ready to leave? Yes, Edward wasn't coming back. I never locked my window with the hope that he would but sometimes hope goes away, like mine did. I've said goodbye to Charlie, but what about Renée? No, stop it Bella. No more second thoughts. Just get it over with. Renée knows that you love her.

What if Edward did come back though? Dammitt, stop thinking like that. He will never come back. He doesn't love me. He doesn't love me. He said so himself. Who could love me? I'm nothing special. He probably never loved me to begin with but felt bad for almost getting me killed. I bet he wishes I had died back with James.

Was Alice in on it too? And Emmett and Carlisle? What about Esme? They had to be. She is one amazing actress, they all are. They had me fooled. How could I be so stupid? To think someone loved me. Someone as amazing as ... _Edward. _

Well even if he did wish I had died with James, he was getting his wish now, in a way I guess. But it wasn't his fault. No matter what, I knew it was my fault. If I was better,maybe he would still love me. It wasn't _his_ fault that he didn't love me. It was mine. I wasn't good enough for him. For _anyone. _

Maybe it's a good thing I'm leaving this world. Charlie won't have to suffer anymore because of his ruined daughter and Renée won't have to worry anymore. Sure they might be sad but they'll get over it. Renée had Phil. Charlie had many friends like Billy and Henry. They will be fine. Perfectly fine.

Okay, stop thinking about them. About anyone. About _anything. _It's time. There's no turning back now. Just do it Bella. Do it. Pull the damn trigger!

_Please Bella don't. You promised not to do anything stupid. Please Bella please. _

No. It couldn't be him. I looked around the medow twice. He wasn't here. But his voice. It was his voice. Was he here? No, for all I know he could be in Africa. Okay maybe not Africa, it was too sunny.

I was going crazy. There we go. Perfect explaination. Now just end my misery before the pain starts. Come on Bella.

_Please Bella. Don't do this. I love you. _

I was crazy. Only a crazy person would think someone was talking to them when they weren't anywhere near them.

"You don't love me." I whispered to no one. Talking to myself. Wow, I was crazier then I thought.

Dammitt, I'm just wasting time right now. Why aren't I shooting myself? This is stupid. Stop waisting time Bella. It's just going to make it more painful then it needs to be. Shoot yourself and get over it. Its not that hard!

I lowered the gun to my heart. I was really doing this. Me, Isabella Marie Swan, suicidal. Huh, its kind of funny.

Might as well enjoy the pain. I mean they _do _say that before you die, your life flashes before your eyes. I wanted to enjoy every minute of it with Edward. Remembering him. I lowered the gun a little bit, now facing the middle of my stomach. Should take about an hour. More then enough time to think about him. I had my hand on the trigger. Just press it.

_Please Bella if you love me, don't do this. _

"Don't you see? I do love you. I can't live without you. That's why I have to do it." I said, again to no one. No one was there.

I pulled the trigger.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

**AN You asked for longer so you got it. ) I hope you like it. This was originally going to be two chapters but I didn't want to stop writting so I hope you like it. R&R And thanks for everyone who did review! 3 Again I tried my best but i don't have spell check on my computer.**

I feel to my knees immeditly, hugging my sides. The pain was unberable. I heard piercing screams and moans. It was me. Why did I want to make this longer? I was so stupid. Oh god this hurts. I can feel the blood spilling out of me. I could smell it too.

"Bella? Oh no Bella! I found her Carlisle! Were too late!" I'd recognise that voice anywhere. It seemed _so _real. Was it?

"Alice?" I mumbled. It was so quiet but I knew if it was her, she'd hear me.

"Bella! Oh no Bella. I told him this was a bad idea. No. No. Carlisle hurry!" Was she real? Was Alice _really _here? I wasn't that creative, was I? But crazy people do have pretty good imaginations.

"Alice, grab her and run to the house now!" It was Carlisle. There voices almost sounded as good as _he _sounded. I felt cold hard marble against my skin and wind. Lots of wind. It lessend the pain slightly but I could still hear moaning and screams. I couldn't have imagined this. Maybe they were really here.

"Bella, Bella stay with me! Do you hear me? Please Bella, please talk to me!" Alice demanded. I could hear her tearless sobs. If should could cry, I knew she would but why?

"I'll try." I paused. It hurt too much to talk. "It ... hurts." Maybe I shouldn't have told her that. She might feel worse.

"It's okay. Im so sorry. I told Edward. I shouldn't have listened to him! None of us should have. He was so stupid to think you'd be okay! I mean you're you! It's a good thing a came."

Why was she here anyways? I thought she didn't love me anymore. I thought none of them _ever _loved me. Why are they even bothering. I wanted to die.

I had nothing to live for anymore. He was my _everything _and now he's gone. The wind stopped and I could feel something underneath me. A bed?

"Bella, this is going to hurt. I am so sorry but there is no other way." It was Carlisle. Was he going to change me? Oh please do it. Nothing could be worse then this. I managed to nod slightly and I could feel my shirt rising slightly.

Then there was pain. When I thought I could never feel so much, more came. And it never decressed. If anything it increased but I knew he didn't bite me. I didn't feel a burning like I did when James bit me. This was a different kind of pain. I thrashed and kicked. I wanted it to stop but it didn't. It never did. I could feel arms holding me down.

"It's okay Bella. Just breathe. You'll be okay. How could Edward be so dumb!" It was Emmett. I wanted to talk to him. To know why they were there but I couldn't. It hurt to much. I could hear my screams getting louder and harsher.

Wait, if Emmett was there, did that mean the rest of them were? Probably. I wonder why they even bothered.

The pain increased. My screaming got louder then ever before. "Kill me! End this hell!" I screamed. I just wanted it to stop. And it did, gradually. It lessened and lessened. And even though it never stopped, my screaming did. It didn't hurt as much. The hands that were holding me down were released.

"I'm so sorry Bella. I had to take the bullet out but it's over now. Just sleep, you need your rest." It was Carlisle I think. I couldn't sleep though. Not yet. Not until I was sure they weren't going to be gone when I woke up.

"Please don't leave me. Not again." I whispered so quietley I could hardly hear it myself but I knew that they would hear it. I could feel my mind going fuzzy. My eyes hadn't opened once since I shot myself. I needed to see them to make sure I wasn't dreaming but I couldn't open my eyes.

"Don't worry Bella. We won't." That was the last thing I heard before I blacked out.

_"Bella, I don't love you anymore. I never did. I can't stand you. You're a pathetic human. I promise, you will never see me again. Just promise you won't keep acting stupid and recless." Edward said, facing me in the forrest near my house. I couldn't say anything so i nodded._

_"Please don't go." But it was too late. He was already gone. _

I emerged from the black whole which was my life to a paniced Alice. "Bella, what's wrong? Are you in pain? Why were you screaming?" Her worried voice demanded.

"Oh. It was just a dream." I said. I felt the whole in my heart open up. I could feel it over the pain from earlier ... was it still the same day? I held onto my sides and started gasping for breathe. Alice noticed this quickly.

"Carlisle come here." She sounded paincked. Better reassure her but how could I do that without annoying her? I didn't want her to leave.

"Don't worry. I'm okay, this happens alot." I said. Carlisle was here now as well.

"Well it never happend before. I sounded like you couldn't breathe. Whats going on Bella?"

"Why don't you tell me? Six months ago your brother comes and tells me hes leaving. That everyones leaving because he never loved me. That he couldn't stand me because I was a pathetic human. And I tried to get over him but he was my _life _and he tore it away so I was going to make it final. And then the people who _don't _love me and probably never did came and saved me. I think you have some explaining to do." I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks and I waas once again gasping for breathe. I was sure they were going to leave now. Before Alice could respond I started up again. "And now that you came, I know when you leave that it will only make things worse. Can you leave now and spare me the heart ache of what little heart I had left?" The tears were going down harder and faster and I could hardly breathe, trying to gasp air. I hadn't relised that everyone was in the room now, all of there faces holding nothing but shock.

"Bella. We will explain everything but just calm down. You've been through so much. I don't think your body can handle he added stress. Okay? Once we all settle down, I promise we will tell you everything." Carlisle's calm voice didn't sound the same. It sounded like he was talking to someone ... _crazy. _That's what it was. I wasn't really here. I was dead right? I must have gone to hell though because right now, this is all I could call it. I was a crazy person. Might as well play along with there little sheraid though. It might be fun. And maybe I wasn't dead, I would be just as well when they leave. I'll do it again but this time they won't have a chance of saving me.

"Isabella Swan, never even think of that. We would never leave you." Shoot. Alice must have seen what I had planned on doing.

"You say never now, but what about in a week? A month? A year? Soon you'll be with Edward again. Wishing you hadn't saved me now like he wish he never saved me with James." I said, or rather screamed. I think I heard them growling but I was too into my thoughts to listen. I didn't want to. I just wanted to end my life.

"He would never wish that. Neither would we. Bella, you look like hell. If he saw you like this ..." Alice's voice trailed off. They were hidding something from me. I needed to know everything.

"Just please, tell me the whole story. From begining to start. I need to hear it all." I said. Carlisle was about to protest but I inturrupted him. "Don't worry, I'll stay calm." Accutally I really wanted to know if I was dead or not but I couldn't ask that.

"Okay. After your birthday party, Edward said that he didn't want to put your life in danger anymore. He said we were leaving. He was doing it to keep you safe. And trust me, we all tried to tell him to stay. That he was making a mistake but he wouldn't hear of it. He thought we were the ones putting you in danger and he loved you too much to make you go threw something like that again. We left and I told him I wanted to say good bye too but he said he wanted to make it as quick and easy as possible and he thought that was how. He thought that you would never belive him. He thought it would take hours but it didn't and you did belive him. He must be a good actor.

"Anyways, he told us we could never talk to you again. I couldn't see your future but not because I didn't want to or I couldn't. He forbidded it. And then he left. He comes and checks in every few months but he's misserible. I knew he would give up and go see you sooner or later, weither you knew or not, he would want to see you. We all did, but it's too bad that he chose later rather then sooner. And then I saw your future unexpeditly. You killed your self. I told everyone and we left and searched for you. We knew it was in the medow but we were all the way in Alaska and we didn't know how much time we had left.

"When we got to you, you'd already shot yourself. We thought it was too late but we heard you scream. We grabbed you and ran you home. We would have taken you to the hospital but we couldn't think of a resonible expanition as the why you were shot and we were back. Carlisle had to take the bullet out and fix you up. We would have drugged you but we didn't have any with us. We did give you tylenol, weither you rember it or not. Jasper went to your house and took the note you left Charlie and left him another note saying you went on a trip by yourself to clear your head. It said you'd be back soon and not to worry. It would be better then him finding out that you tried to kill yourself.

"So you see? We never wanted to leave, but we were doing it to keep you safe. I see how that turned out. We are trying to get a hold of Edward but he won't pick up his cell. Don't worry though. He will eventually." Wow. Everything made scence now. But I wasn't that creative to think it up my self and hell didn't have happy endings all tied up in a pretty bow. I guess this was real.

"So you're not leaving?" I asked. Everyone shook there head no and I let out a sigh of relif, which made them laugh.

"But now it's your time to explain some stuff. Like your screaming, and not being able to breathe. Oh yeah, and attempted suicide." It was Emmett. It felt good to hear his voice, I missed my big brother.

"Not yet. I still have one last question." I paused, trying to have a dramatic effect, which turned out pretty retarded instead so I continued with my last question. "How could you guys stand the blood?"

Nobody said anything. "It was like with James last year. When you truely love someone, you care more about them then the blood." I was surprised that Emmett awnsered like that but it felt good to know I was loved like that. "Now awnser our's."

"When ever I think about ... him, it hurts. It gets harder to breathe. Like theres a black whole in my chest. The dreams happen every night. I dream him leaving. I killed myself to finish what he started." I said. I hopped that awnsered everything.

"I'm sorry Bella." Esme's sweet voice said to me. How I missed that voice.

"As am I, but Bella. You need you rest." Carlisle said. Who am I to argue with the doctor.

"Fine. Good night." I said and closed my eyes while everyone left.

I dreamed of Edward coming back.

**Yay! Okay well I'm not sure how many chapters I'm going to have. If you don't mind, can you tell me if you want me to end this in the next chapter or two or if you want me to continue. Please review! Thanks. xox.**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

**AN I don't own Twilight or any of its sequals.  
I'm very sorry that it took me this long but I couldn't think of what to write until this morning. Also, I hope you don't mind but I felt like I needed to change pov's no matter how much I hate doing it. The begining is still Bella though and I thank you for all the amazing reviews. )**

I woke up. That wasn't intresting though. I woke up everyday but today _was _different. Today I wanted to wake up. Today I was waking up for nothing. I woke up silently. No screams, not one. That hasn't happend since the day Edward left. Edward. I could think he's name. It didn't hurt anymore. Well, not much. I still longed for him but I knew he would be here. He would want to be here. That made all the difference. Of course my stomach still hurt but I would live. I looked around the room and saw Jasper, sitting in a chair in the corner. He seemed to notice that I saw him.

"Hi ... Bella. Listen, we really need to talk." What was he talking about? Then I remembered why they left. What started this nonscence of them being dangerous.

"Oh Jasper. It was never your fault. Don't worry about it. It was an accedent." I said. He looked at me with confusion.

"What do you mean 'don't worry about it?' Don't you care for your life. I could have easily killed you. I almost did kill you, both then and now. This is all my fault and I am so sorry. If I wasn't so weak you wouldn't be here like this. These last six months wouldn't have been hell. They would have been happy. Theres no excuse. Don't you understand that Bella? I could have killed you." Jasper said, staying calm as he explained his resonings to me.

"Jasper, anyone could have made that mistake. If its' anyones fault, it's mine. If I had been more careful and not cut myself you wouldn't have had to worry about anything." I was about to continue but he cut me off but this time he wasn't so calm.

"Don't you honestly for one second belive this was your fault. You are human. You shouldn't have to worry about your life ending just because of a stupid paper cut."

"And you're a freaking vampire! You drink blood. Your saying its in my nature to make stupid mistakes like that. Its in yours too." We both were quiet for a moment not knowing how to react when Carlisle walked in. I felt calm all of a sudden. Stupid Jasper, I don't want to calm down.

"Sorry for inturupting but I need to speak with Bella right now Jasper. You may stay if you wish but there may be some blood." Carlisle said and Jasper left the room. "Okay, how are you feeling Bella?"

How was I feeling? That was a good question. I felt pain, but not much. And I felt confussion. Why hadn't Edward came yet? He should have awnsered his cell by now.

"Physically, it hurts a bit but nothing I can't deal with. Emotions are a different question." There we go. That sums up my feelings in a way I guess.

"Well its good that you're not feeling much pain. You should be able to go back home in a day or two. As for emotions, is there anything I can help you with?" Hell yes!

"No thank you. I just need sometime to think." I said. I wasn't really lieing. I did need to think about things. About everything.

"Okay, but I need to inspect you're stitches, is that okay?" He asked. I nodded and Carlisle made his way towards me. I winced everynow and then but from his expression, everything seemed to be fine.

"You're healing quite nicely. You could get out of bed if you wanted to but I don't want you leaving the house for a few more days if thats okay. You should go it." Carlisle said once he finished making sure I was fine. "I belive Esme has made you some lunch. Do you need help getting to the kitchen?"

"I think I can manage and thanks. For everything. I wouldn't be here without you." I saw Carlisle smile as I said that.

"It was my pleasure. None of us were the same after we left and now we seem just about whole again. Once Edward gets here, well be perfect. Now go eat. You need some energy." I nodded and got up. It hurt a bit more but I was fine. I slowly made my way down the stairs, holding the walls for support to make sure I wouldn't fall. When I _finally _made it to the kitchen and I gasped. It looked like there was enough lunch there for weeks.

"I hope theres enough." Esme said. I laughed, which hurt, making me wince.

"There is definitly enough. Don't worry about that." I said. My stomach growled and I could feel the blood rushing to my cheecks. Alice walked in with Emmett and they took a seat next to me.

"So Bella I was thinking we could go shopping tomorow." Alice suggested. I spit up my food and I could feel my cheecks starting to burn up. Emmett started laughing, making me blush even more.

"Uhm..I can't. Carlisle said I should stay here so he could keep an eye on me." I said. Never once had I been so grateful. Alice knew I hated shoping. Why does she put me threw this.

"Accutally, if you stay with Alice I don't see why not." Carlisle said as he walked into the kitchen. I shot him and evil glare and he chuckled. Great, I don't have anymore excuses. Alice squelled with delight and Emmett laughed at my horror struck face. I tried to change the subject fast. Maybe Alice would forget. Who was I kidding? It was _Alice. _But then again, I needed to know something.

"Has anyone got a hold of Edward left?" There faces all got sadder and I knew there option but then Alice brightened up.

"I have an idea! How about we get Bella to call and leave him a message. At least then he wont think that were lieing. Are you up to it Bella?" Me? Tell Edward I shot myself. No way! Never.

"Sure if it will get him home." I said. Okay, maybe it will work. Alice was gone and back in no more then five seconds, this time with a phone in her hand which she handed to me. "Its ringing." What now? I wasn't ready yet! What would I say? I heard the beep. Here goes nothing or rather everything. My everything.

"Edward. Its Bella. I need you to call us. It's really important. Somethings happend and I need to see you. To hear your voice, I know everything. I love you. Please come home." I said and hung up. Alice and Emmett smiled. Who knew, maybe it would work. Oh god I hope it does.

Jasper walked into the room. He looked like he was ready to talk some more and no way was that going to happen. "Jasper, don't. Please, don't." I said.

"I just need you to understand it wasn't your fault." He said. I knew it was, if I wasn't so stupid and had been more careful.

"Your fault! Are you kidding Bella?" Alice said, inturrupting my thoughts.

"Bella smarten up. It was no ones fault. Nobodys perfect and nobodys to blame." Emmett said. If anyone had told me that Emmett was the voice of reason, I would have doubled over in laughter but he just had proved me wrong.

"Fine." I said and pushed away my finished plate. I was stuffed. There was an akward silence that seemed to be going on forever. Alice, Emmett and Jasper kept looking at each other, as if they were ... _hiding _something? "You know what I hate?" They all looked confused at my seemingly outragerous question, but shook there heads. "Lies." They seemed to understand. So I was right. There was something that they weren't telling me.

"Okay, well we didn't want to tell you because we were afraid it might have ... upset you." Alice began. Okay, what was going on? I just nodded, singling her to go on. "Well, I saw Edward and he got sick of hearing his cell so he distroyed it. In short, that means he won't be here, for a couple of months at least. Even then, Forks won't be the first place on his map. Bella, I don't know how to tell you this but ... we have to leave to track him down."

Everything was swirling and fuzzy until it just went black.

**Edwards Point Of View**

Dammit, the phone was ringing for the about the hundreth time today. I told Alice that I didn't want anyone to call me and I will visit every now and then but everything about them reminded me about ... _her. _Maybe I should go and visit her, check up to make sure she was okay.

No, I couldn't. I gave her my word and how much of a hypocrite would I be to tell my family they couldn't see her but I was going to. It couldn't happen. I would never hold my Bella again. How it hurt to think of her, to say her name. I needed her but she needed me to leave her life if she still wanted one. It had to be this way.

My phone was ringing again. Seriously, can you get a message. I picked it up and held it with all my strength. When I opened my hand again, all that was left was a small ball. Well at least now that it was destroyed I wouldn't need to hear the constent ringing. Maybe I would go and visit them. But no, I was just there a few weeks ago or atleast I think it was. I didn't keep track of time lately. It didn't matter to me. _Nothing _mattered to me.

I could never be the person I was before Bella and I left myself behind when I left her. I was a nobody without her. She was my everything and I threw her away. I was left with nothing. But it was the price I had to pay to make sure she was safe. I know knew that she would never be in harm because of me or my family ever again. That's what kept me away.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

I slowly opened my eyes to the worried expressions of Alice and Carlisle. "Oh thank god your awake Bella!" Alice said, letting out a sigh of release. I went to raise my head but felt a shot of pain hit it, sending me back down. I remembered why I was here.

"You're leaving. You promised you wouldn't but you lied. I guess I can't blame you. I knew it would happen." I said quietly, tears flowing freely down my cheeks, staining my skin. Both of there expressions turned to sorrow and then Emmett walked in.

"Carlisle, is it okay if I talk to Bella alone for a moment?" He asked. Carlisle turned towards Alice and she nodded. Carlisle nodded as well and they both left the room. After a few moments Emmett grabed a seat and placed it next to my bed.

"Hey." I said. Funny, the tears hadn't stopped and my voice was cracking. Maybe I was more ruined then I thought.

"Hey Bella." Emmett said with a smile though it looked forced. "Look, we need to talk. What Alice said, you know about us leaving, you didn't let her finish. She said we had to leave but not all of us do. If its' okay with you, I asked to stay behind with you but I completely understand if you didn't want me or rathered on being alown." The tears stopped and I laughed.

"Are you kidding me? Of course I want you to stay! Oh Emmett, how can I thank you?" I said, true happiness ringing threw my voice, the first time it had happend in a very long time. He smiled too but this time it wasn't forced.

"The only way you can thank me is promise never to do anything like ... what you did ever again. We can't afford to lose you. So do we have a deal?" I chuckled. Like I would have to do that.

"Deal." I said. Emmetts grin widened and I think I saw I slight bit of a ... what was it? An evil laugh? "Oh, wait I need to make another addition to the deal. No pranks!" I said and he doubled over with laughter.

"Sorry Bella but a deals a deal. No negotiations." Oh great. I shuddered and he laughed. I could feel the blood rushing to my face. "Don't worry though, nothing to crazy." He paused for a moment. Great, should have thought Emmett would do something like this. "Alice" he called, in a tone no longer then what he was takling to me in.

Alice was in the room within five seconds. "Well I see you're smiling. Emmett must have told you." She said and giggled. I nodded and laughed with her. "Anyways, its' time to get serious. Carlisle wants to see you in his office. Did you want help to get there?" I lifted my body and a moan escaped, pain shooting everywhere through my body. "Oh Bella. Don't be silly, your bodys been threw so much lately. Let me take you there."

"No really, its okay. It doesn't hurt." Okay, maybe that wasn't the truth. It was pretty far from it but I couldn't start depending on them. I forced myself up and held onto the bed for support when I did. I felt my knees start to fail in the pressure.

"Fine, then I won't ask." Alice said and picked me up as if I were as light as a feather and carried me towards Carlisles office. She tapped on the door but opened before he could respond.

"Oh, great. Thank you for bringing Bella over Alice but would you mind leaving us alone for a bit?" Carlisle asked. Alice nodded while putting me down on the chair in front of Carlisles desk and exited the room. When she was gone, he stared to walk towards me at human speed. "You gave us quite a fright when you fainted but you were concionce in minutes. I can't say I blame you, Alice should have known better and called me to be there when she told you but I belive Emmett told you he was staying?" I smiled as did he. "Rosalie wasn't to glad but even she agreed it was for the best. Now all we have to do is make sure that your going to be okay when we leave. Do you mind standing up for me?"

I tried to do it without showing any pain or effort. I needed them to go. I needed them to get Edward. The sooner that they leave, the sooner they would come back and this time with Edward. Of course, it didn't work. A moan escaped and it took me a while to get up. Even when I did, I had to hold onto the head of the chair to keep myself up. Even then, my knees were shaking and felt very weak. Why was it hurting so much? It wasn't near this bad earlier today.

"Okay Bella, hold on to me and I want you to walk to the other side of the room." I nodded and took hold of Carlisles hand. I took the first step which took an enormus ammount of pain but durring the second step it felt as if my legs had gave up and I feel to the ground. Luckily, Carlisle was there to catch me before I acctually hit the floor. He picked me up and put me back down on the chair carefully.

"It seems as if your in pain. I am right, correct?" I nodded, he knew the awnser anways. "I don't know why this is happening but I think your body was in shock yesterday but now the pain is finally making its way through. You're going to have to cancel your shopping trip unfortunitly." He smirked as he said this, as did I. "But I don't think I can leave with everyone else tonight to find Edward. You are going to need me there ..." I couldn't do that they needed him. "Unless ..."

"Unless what? I'll do it, whatever it is." I said, just wanting Edward. He laughed.

"Well Emmett did take a year in medical school. And if anything very serious happend you could always reach me but I need you to agree to it first." Carlisle said.

"Done. You guys go. Emmett and me will be fine." I said with a smile. He smiled and excused himself for a moment. I waited in his office alone, looking around the room. I remember the first time I was there, with Edward. I learnt about Carlisles' past. Even though it was hardly over a year ago, it still felt like a lifetime. Days have been passing so slowly yesterday and Charlie got more fustrated everyday.

Oh my gosh Charlie! How could I forget? I had to call him, he needed to know I was alive. For all I know he could have search teams after me right now. The phone was on the other side of the room. I could make it, hopefully. I was starting to get up when the door slamed open, showing a stressed Alice. "Don't you dear even try!" She said and brang me the phone. I was confused but she did know best so I didn't argue. When she passed me the phone it was already ringing.

"Hello?" It was Charlie but he didn't sound the same. He sounded sad and tired. Tears flew down my face.

"Dad?"

"Bella. Oh Bella you're safe." Yes I am, I'm with a bunch of blood sucking vampires. "I've been worried sick. Where are you?" Ten minutes away. "You havent called in days! I didn't know if you were still alive!" I wasn't supposed to be.

"Don't worry I'm not hurt. I can't tell you where I am but I just needed to clear my head. Its' done me alot of good. I think I'll be much better when I get home." I said.

"Get home? Do you know when that will be?"

"Soon. Very soon but not just yet. Don't worry about me. I love you." I said.

"I love you too Bells. Please come home soon." He said and I hung up. Alice walked over and sat next to me. I turned into her shoulder and starting balling.

I couldn't blame Charlie for worrying. Last time I left I ended up in the hospital for weeks. But this time was different. And I'd come home in a better condition.

"I was talking to Rosalie and saw you trying to go get the phone. Smooth move Bella. You have to smarten up sometimes. If you ever need anything just call. Anyways, were leaving now. Are you ready to say goodbye?" Alice asked. I nodded and she picked me up and ran me down the stairs to where everyone was and stood me up while the table near us supported most of my weight. "Bye Bella. We'll be back soon and with Edward. I promise." Alice said and kissed me on the cheek.

"Good bye Bella. Please, don't do anything stupid while were gone. And I truely am sorry." Jasper said.

"Bye. Don't worry I won't and for the last time, theres nothing to forgive." I said and we smiled at each other. Out of no where he hugged me. I was shocked. More shocked then other but I hugged him back. He got off me and followed Alice into the forest.

"Goodbye Bella. I love you." Esme said.

"I love you too." I told her. She hugged me and smiled before she left. Rosalie was next. Better prepare myself for the worst.

"Listen Bella. I know I haven't been the best person but I know that Edward needs you and you need him. Don't do anything to take you away from him." She said and smiled. Sure it was forced, but atleast she was trying. I smiled back and she left. Last but not least..

"Now Bella, if anything goes wrong call me and if it gets even worse I need you go striaght to the hospital. Now be safe. Good bye and please be good." We both laughed and I nodded as he left everyone to follow everyone else.

"Well that's the last of them. Better go to sleep. You have a long day ahead of you tomorow." Emmett said and laughed. I growned and his laugh got louder as he carried me up to the bed which they now concidered mine. "Good night Bella."  
"Night Emmett." I said, already half asleep. I loved having a big brother.

_Alice looked deep into his eyes but only found pure disgust. "I already told you. I never want to see Bella again. I don't care what you do or what she does. I wish she tries to kill her self again. I don't love her. I never have and I never will." He said, never breaking there gaze._

_"Edward. You don't mean that. You can't mean that." Alice told him._

_"You're wrong because I do." _

"Bella, wake up. It's okay. I'm here don't worry." Emmett said. I opened my eyes to see Emmett staring over me. "Bella, what happend?"

Dammit, he heard me. What _did _I do? "Oh .. uhm ... it's nothing. Just a dream." More like a nightmare.

"You keep repeating Edwards name. We're you dreaming of him leaving again because you shouldn't. You know the real story." I shook my head. This was definitly worse. I felt like a little kid again with the big ... very big brother I never had. Or rather, never _used _to have. "What did you dream about then?"

"Don't worry, it was nothing."  
"Come on Bella. Please, you can trust me." I sighed in defeat. I knew he was going to find out one way or another.

"Well I wasn't accutally _in _the dream. Only Alice and Edward were. It was like I was watching them on tv but television wasn't that perfect. Basically after Alice found and Edward and told him what had happend he said good." The tears were starting to fall again. "He wished I'd try again." I'd never seen Emmett so sad.

"Oh Bella. I'm so sorry. So so sorry but it was only a dream, nothing more." He hugged me, trying to comfort me but he was no Edward.We just layed in silence. subtract my quiet weeping and Emmetts comforting words. He was one amazing big brother.

"How bad was it...after we left? Please tell me the truth ... unless you don't want to talk about it." Emmett said, breaking the silence. I guess there wasn't much of a reason for him _not _to know.

"Well, after Edward left me in the forest I just ran deeper and deeper. I needed to get away. After at least four hours I tripped but I couldn't move. I just stayed on the ground. _He was gone. _I felt dead. I _was _dead, on the inside at least. I was a zombie I suppose. Sam Uley found me and took me to Charlie." I began but Emmetts snarling inturrupted me. "Whats' wrong?"

Emmett quickly tried to shake that look of ... disgust off his face. "Its' just the thought of that mut ... touching you. Please tell me you never saw him or anyone else from La Push since then."

"Well Billy came over somtimes but no. I didn't talk to them." Emmett smiled as I said this. Why was he acting so strange. Did they have a grudge against the La Push gang. Well they must, I mean they don't let the Cullens on there land. I quickly came back to reality. "I didn't talk to anyone." The smile disapered and was taken over by sadness once again. I paused before continuing with the story. "One day Charlie said that he'd had enough and told me to get happy or get out. I chose to get out but that the way he was talking about. I think you know the rest."

"Oh Bella. I am so sorry. If we knew how much pain we would cause you, we never would have left. I'm truely sorry." Emmett said to me. I knew if he could cry he would. He hugged me tighter, which shot pains threw me and blocked my airways. I moaned quietly but instintly he released me. "Sorry ... about everything."

"It's okay. It was never your fault."

"I know, it was Edwards."

"No matter what you belive, it wasn't even his." It was mine. "It was no ones fault."

"How could you open your heart and love monsters like us?" Emmett asked me, I think he was honestly curious.

"Simple. You aren't monsters. You are the best things that ever happend to me." I stated with ease.

"How could you say that after everything we put you threw?"

"It dosen't make an impact because you all will always be the best thing ever."

"I won't question your sanity right now but you only had a few hours of sleep. Get some rest okay?"

"Fine, good night." I said.

"Night Bella." Emmett said before releasing my hand.

It won't be long now.

**AN; okay I feel weird doing this but please if you read this review. I hope the facts are right but if they arent ... well then pertend they are. k thanks )**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN Sorry it took so long but with school and everything it was hard. Thank you so much to my new Beta Reader PatricksJessica for your help! Hope you like it and review !**

Chapter Six

"So, you sure you're ready to go back to Charlie's?" Emmett asked for the tenth time in the last hour.

"Yes Emmett, I am positive. He hasn't seen me in two weeks. He's probably worried sick and I feel so good that I would be doing back flips if I knew how." I said. I did miss him. I missed the rest of the Cullen's too. It's been about a week and a half since they left to look for Edward but Charlie needed me home so it was time to go. We were around the corner of my street now and Emmett was holding onto the passenger door handle preparing to get out.

"I'm going to be hunting; I probably won't be back until lunch time tomorrow. Can you keep yourself alive long enough for me to get back?" Emmett asked.

"I think I'll live." I said and we both laughed.

"Okay, okay I believe you. Be careful." He said, and then he was gone. I drove the rest of the way to my house, got out of the car and walked up to the door. I knocked a couple times, it would have been easier if I just remembered my key. The cruiser was in the drive way so Charlie was home anyways.

I had thought ahead of time of course. Seeing as I brought nothing with me on my 'trip', I had to look as if I'd been living on nothing but the outdoors for the last two weeks. Emmett loved to help there. My thoughts were interrupted by the turning of a knob. The door opened, revealing a very tired and somehow _older _looking Charlie.

"Bella! Oh Bells, is that really you?" I nodded, tears already falling down my dirt covered face. I was embraced in a hug. Wow, he must have _really _missed me.

"Don't you ever scare me like that again! Come in, you must be hungry. And you need to wash up, you're filthy. I'm so glad you're finally home." Charlie ranted as we walked into the house.

"I know, I will and I'm so sorry. I won't do anything like that again. I love you dad." I said. Charlie just stood there. "Is there something wrong dad?"

"You just seem ... alive. There's color in your cheeks again." He said astonished. I tried to suppress a laugh but failed. I found it ironic that he found me alive after I tried to be the exact opposite. He looked even more shocked. It was a good thing Jasper returned the gun with all the bullets when he switched my note or else this conversation wouldn't be going too smoothly.

"I'm going to go and wash up. We'll talk after, okay?" I asked. Charlie nodded and I made my way up the stairs which no longer hurt since the gunshot wound had thankfully healed.

Even though I hadn't really been dirty for more than an hour, thanks to Emmett's eagerness to make me look like a sorry excuse for a camper, I felt much better after my shower. It was as if I washed off all of my pain, all the sadness. It felt as if I was more at peace, feeling as if now was the first real moment I knew I wouldn't have to worry about ever being alone again. If only they would hurry back with Edward. He would come back wouldn't he?

Once I was showered and dressed I went down stairs to Charlie who was in the living room by now. I knew this talk wouldn't be pretty but it had to be done sooner or later. I might as well get it over with. I made my way over to Charlie who was sitting on the couch.

"Cha- Dad we need to talk." I said. He turned off the TV and turned to me. I sat down on the couch and panicked. What was I going to tell him?

"Yes, we do. Now where were you Bells? You had me worried sick. I didn't even know if you were alive. All I get is a silly note, no call for days. Explain please." Charlie said. Here goes nothing.

"I needed to get out. I didn't know where, I just needed to clear my mind. I took some money with me for the necessities. I don't know how far I went but I did bump into ... someone on the way." I began. I needed there to be a reason why I was happy. Charlie looked confused so I continued. "Well, to be exact it was Emmett Cullen." Now he was clearly upset by the mention of Edward's brother. "It was great though. We talked and Edward really misses me. His cell phone wasn't working but he took my number and said he'd tell Edward to call when he got the chance. He still hasn't called but I suspected him to take a while. So there's the story."

"Well I do guess it did you good but that doesn't mean you're off the hook. Now go to sleep and we will talk about your punishment later." Charlie said, trying to stay strict. "And Bella, I love you."

"I love you too dad. Night." I said and made my way up to my room. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Man, I was tired. Good thing Emmett wasn't here to keep me up. Finally, a desents night's rest.

The birds were chirping and the sun leaked through my window. I yawned and forced my way up. It was Saturday I believed. I made my way to the kitchen after using the bathroom of course. A note was on the fridge stating that Charlie had gone fishing for the day. I turned around and my eyes flew open before I screamed at the top of my lungs.

Alice's POV

"Carlisle, can you smell that?" I asked, excitement ringing through my voice. Finally, it smelled like Edward and the smell was strong. We had followed him all the way from Australia. It was midnight here so we were free to look around.

"Yes. Come on, let's follow it." Carlisle agreed. We searched around to make sure that no one was near us and ran, letting our senses guide us. His scent was very strong. Edward had to be here somewhere. And he was. I saw him.

"Edward!" I screamed. _Oh_ _thank god. Bella must be getting annoyed by now waiting._ He stopped and turned around. His face turned shocked. _Shoot. Sorry Edward, but we needed to talk with Bella. We need to talk with you. _He still looked annoyed but I went to him anyways.

"You went to Bella!" He screamed. "I told you never to go to her again. You knew that but you didn't listen."

"Shut up Edward! I had to!" I yelled back.

"Really, why is that? Because Bella was moving on and you didn't want that?"

"No, because Bella shot herself you idiot!" I screamed. Shoot, should have done that nicer.

"Wh-what are you talking about? Don't be dumb, Bella would never be that -..." Edward began. He was catching on. "She never moved on. Is she okay? Please, tell me she's still alive." Edward demanded.

"We got to her right after she shot herself. We took her home and when we left she was recovering. She was doing great actually. By now, I believe she is almost fully healed but she needs you."

"My Bella ... she shot herself because of me. I left to stop causing her pain and that put her in worse pain." Edward said, realizing what was going on. "That's why everyone was calling me. Alice, I'm so sorry."

"I know you are but you need to tell that to Bella." I said.

"I will, let's go. We'll catch a flight to Forks now. I need to see her." He said. Esme, Rosalie and Jasper all caught up with us now. We hijacked the first car we saw and drove it to the nearest airport.

"So why Australia?" I asked Edward on our way home.

"Not much of a reason. I just wanted to get away. Plus, I've never acctually _been _to Austraillia before. It's nice I suppose. I will have to get Bella to come with me again. Four more hours Alice." Edward said.

"I know. I know. You can't wait. Have you always been this loud?" I was going to continue but my brain was flooded by a vision.

"Alice? Alice, what is it? What's wrong?" I was speechless.

**Cliffy! Yay! Review or never know why Bella screamed !**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

**AN Okay , I know. You must hate me for not writting for what seems like years but I couldn't make it right. I've written it about ten times and it never worked until now. Not one of my best but still reply. **

My breathing became forced. The memories started flooding back. The pain, the longing, the good byes. Was I going to have to make another one?

"Good morning Bella. Or rather good afternoon , you slept rather late. I guess it could be enjoyable. Sleeping that it. Oh, how rude of me, I forgot to knock. Oh well, we knew each other before hand so I guess its okay of me to impose. You do remember me, right?"

_Just stay cool. Don't show your true fear._ Edward. His voice. I wasn't alone even if he was only in my mind.

"How could I forget you Victoria?" I said. _Good, keep your true emotions hidden. _Victoria started to chuckle. If I hadn't known better I would have thought someone just told her a joke.

"Good, well yes. Lets get straight to the point, shall we?" I nodded. _Stay calm. _"Correct me if I'm wrong but if you remember me then you must remember James." I nodded once again. "Well he was my mate. My _Edward _if you will and you destroyed him. Well not you but your little boy friend. I was going to kill him but killing you would make so much more ... heartbreaking. How will he feel when he finds out that the reason his special little Bella died was because of him and his family." I gulped. How would be react? Well, how would I react if _he _died because of _me. _No, don't think that way. He would never - _the volturi. _

"Good, your catching on. Its about time, I knew humans were stupid but your taking it to a whole new level. Now, I will give you five minutes left to live. In that you can write notes to your human friends. Heck, even write to the Cullens. They won't be here until its too late anyways." Victoria said. I walked over to the note pad and grabbed both it and a pen. There really was no way else. I was going to die no matter what. _No you won't Bella. _

_Edward, I'm so sorry. Maybe if I was stronger this wouldn't have happend. If I listened to Emmett and stayed with him longer. If I hadn't been so stupid to have tried to kill myself in the first place. Its all my fault, never was it yours. I truely do love you. Forever and always. Please, don't do anything reckless or stupid. Even though I broke my promise , you better not break yours. For me Edward. I never knew how someone as amazing as you could love me and I am eternally grateful. If this is the cost to the time spent with you, I got the better end of the deal. Good bye, Bella. _

My tears stained the letter as it pained me to write it. Next was Charlie. Oh god, he just got me back. How would he take this? How could I explain it? _You don't need to explain anything. You can't die Bella. _

_Charlie, by now I'm long gone. I don't know where I'm going but it was as if I had no choice. I know you just got me back, I know the pain I've put you threw but please now I am so sorry. There was just no other way. I love you. You are the best father a girl could have. Don't bother looking for me, I'll never be found. You'll always be in my heart, Bella. _

More tears marked this letter as I was nearing the end of my five minutes. I was going to have to rush to get the last couple letters done. _Don't bother. You can tell us what you wanted to write later._

_Renee, I truely am sorry. I wish my goodbye could have been better then this but its all I could do. Truely, I wish there was another way. I love you and always will. This had nothing to do with you, Bella. _

I was down to my last minute, as well as my last letter. _Bella , stay positive. I won't let you die._

_Alice, Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, Carlisle and Esme. You were my family in so many ways. I never regretted meeting any of you and if this is the cost of what you're presence was then I think I've made a good deal. I suppose you already know what happend. Please make sure Edward doesnt do anything rash. I love you all, Bella. By the way, I forbid any of you from suffering from this. _

"Are you done with your sappy good byes or am I going to have to stop you?" Victoria said, her icy voice cutting threw the silence and bringing me back to reality.

"I'm done." I said , looking her straight in the eye. _Please Bella , find away to stay alive. For me , if no one else. _For him I could try but what kind of fight could a human put up against an angry vampire? None.

I looked back up and Victoria was gone. I felt myself flying forward from an impact in my back sending me crashing into the wall and falling. The pain started, the same as last time except this time my prince in shining armor wasn't going to save me.

Victoria was over me once again instantly. "Good , lets get moving then. And don't worry , I'm going to make sure this is as painful as possible." Joy.

I felt another kick to my stomach sending me to where I wrote my letters, chrashing me into them. A sticky hot liquad was soaking from almost everywhere in my body and Victorias eyes turned black.

She came close. Closer. She leaned in towards my neck and a very evil smile crossed her face. "Goodbye Isabella." She said and she leaned in towards the kill.

I felt her cold, hard lips pressed up against my neck and slowly the same fire as the previous time took over my body. A piercing scream was released as the fire over clouded the rest of the pain. It moved all threw out my body and I felt myself getting weaker. _Bella , fight. Please Bella. I need you. I love you. _

"I love you too." I said before my whole world turned black.

**Please don't kill me !  
Also , I have one question. Do you want me to kill Bella? In the end , I've already made up my opinion but I still want to know and why. Maybe you'll change my mind )**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

**Alice POV**

We ran as fast as we could back to Bellas house. I could smell vampire. It wasn't Emmett but I have smelled it before. Victoria was already here. I tried to run faster. My feet weren't going fast enough.

I wasn't only running for Bella. I was trying to keep up with Bella. Just in case we were too late , I couldn't have him finding out. Not without me there. I needed to keep him from acting stupid. Victorias scent was getting stronger. Bellas house was getting close as we reached the out skirts of town.

Bella had to be okay. Shes been through so much lately. With Edward and us leaving, to her suicide, this wasn't fair. Her house was getting closer. I could almost smell her.

Edward was in front of me but he was too close to do anything stupid with me here. No , I shouldn't be thinking about it. Bellas future wasn't clear , I couldn't see anything but she couldn't die. She can't, she's been waiting so long to be with Edward. It wouldn't be fair.

Her house was getting close. The forest was coming to an opening and her home was in sight. Victoria was still here. I could smell her.

I tried to listen for a heart beat. I ran as feet as my feet could go and ran into the house seconds after Edward folowed by Carlisle, Esme and Rosalie. Jasper stayed behind just incase.

Then I heard it. A heart beat. It was weak but it was better then nothing. She was going to be okay. We weren't too late.

I saw her but Victoria was gone. Edward was leaning over Bellas now crippled body. She looked worse then she did in the medow. Her heart was failing, I could hear it slowing. We needed to act now , before it was too late.

**EPOV**

Bella , my Bella. I was with her in one way but it was if she was already gone. Her heart beat was weak and getting weaker. Her blood was pulsing out. We were too late. I needed my Bella. My existence.

"Bella , Bella. Can you hear me? Bella please!" I said , trying to get her. To know she was going to be okay.

"Ed -" That was all she could conjour up. Her voice was scratchy. Tatterd. Broken beyond repair.

"Edward, I'm sorry." Carlisles calm voice even sounded different. Troubled and broken. Full of sadness.

"What do you mean? We can change her!"

"Not enough blood for the venom to take. I'm so sorry." He said. My world crashed. It started falling.

"No." I said and turned back to Bella. "Please, don't give up. I love you. Bella , I love you!" Her eyes fluttered open.

"Love ... you ... too. Letter -" Then her eyes closed and was followed by silence. Her heart had finally stopped. That was the last time I'd look into her gorgeous chocolate brown eyes. See her beautiful body with life in it. Bella was gone.

"NO! Bella no !" I screamed and crashed. Never before had I ever wanted to cry as much as I wanted to know. Alice and Carlisle tried to hold me down.

I needed to leave. Go to the Volturi , the vampires. Anything. I needed to leave. To follow Bella. My world was gone. No , it couldn't be true.

She said she loved me. She loved the monster that caused her death. She said something about a letter.

"Carlisle. She said something about a letter." My voice wasn't the same melody that Bella loved. It sounded broken. I was broken. Carlisle hesitated and turned to Alice who nodded and he got up. He walked around the kitchen as I stayed hugging the body of my existence. He came back in the seconds holding two letters and handed me one.

I took it and read it.

_Edward, I'm so sorry. Maybe if I was stronger this wouldn't have happend. If I listened to Emmett and stayed with him longer. If I hadn't been so stupid to have tried to kill myself in the first place. Its all my fault, never was it yours. I truely do love you. Forever and always. Please, don't do anything reckless or stupid. Even though I broke my promise , you better not break yours. For me Edward. I never knew how someone as amazing as you could love me and I am eternally grateful. If this is the cost to the time spent with you, I got the better end of the deal. Good bye, Bella. _

She thought it was her fault. Even in her time of death she thought she was the reason. She told me not to blame myself but that wasn't possible. I loved her.

And to think she thought it was impossible for me to love her. She was wrong. She was so blinded by love she couldn't see that she was the one in love with a blood sucking monster.

But she was okay with dieing for me. She didn't want me to do as she did. She wanted to live. It was her last wish. And I guess for her, I could try.

I looked up. Alice was smiling at me. She must have seen my desion. I tried to smile back but I couldn't. She nodded, knowing it was too soon. I looked back down at Bella and kissed her now cold lips for the last time and turned around.

Nothing was ever going to be the same anymore. I would never be as happy as I was but I had to keep doing my best. Sooner or later we would be together again. It was worth a try.

**For her.**

**The End**


End file.
